I have a confession to make. I am a recovering doubter, self-criticizing worrier. It was about 4 years ago I decided it was time to make a change. I realized how unhappy I was making myself. No one else was to blame but myself. I was tired of the cycle of telling myself I wasn't doing enough, or good enough at my job, or as a mother and wife.... I mean the list goes on and on.
I honestly thought at the time these criticisms of myself would motivate me to do better and I was doing a good thing by "recognizing" these "shortcomings". I also didn't realize at the time that I could stop these scripts that ran through my head constantly. I mean, didn't everyone feel this way and tell themselves the same things?
So what did do? I did many things as I was on a mission to get out of this cycle and "be happier".....which really meant I was tired of the way I had been feeling and was ready to break the brain cycle I had been in. I also knew enough that "if nothing changes, nothing changes". I didn't want my old scripts to sabotage my newly formed business. Starting a business was scary and hard enough as it was, and I knew I had to build up my brain to handle everything that was being thrown at me as a new business owner. One of the most effective things that I started doing was telling myself daily affirmations. I know this can seem "woo- woo" but hang with me!
Self-doubt is one of the biggest things that can hold us back as individuals. There is no amount of compliments that can cure the way one feels internally. We have to learn to believe and embrace the good things about ourselves. We can start to banish self-doubts by giving ourselves a good dose of positive thoughts, empathy, and self-love.
From all the research I have done, it comes down to what you tell yourself. You will be as successful as believe and tell yourself you are! I started to find ways to turn my negative headspace to positive. I stopped the negative parade of thoughts and turned them around into positive thoughts. I allowed myself to receive compliments and actually let myself believe them as well. I started a list of affirmations I told myself daily (and still do to this day). Self-validation is what humans need to let external validations hold true.
Being further down the path of this new journey I am on, I have larger and stronger words of affirmation that I tell myself daily. This photo above hangs above my desk where I find myself at least 5 days a week. I also have a copy on my nightstand to look at before I go to bed.
As women, we always tend to look to others to see what they are doing and compare. I'm sure you have heard that comparison is the thief of all joy. It is time to get out of this cycle. Here are a few tips and tricks that helped me that don't require thousands of $ or time spent in therapy!
1. Feed your brain with nourishment. In the car listening to podcasts, audiobooks that are affirming, uplifting. We all spend so much time in our cars or commuting, it's amazing how much you can actually listen to while just being in the car. Find positive, affirming reading material. Your brain believes what you tell it and feed it!
2. Create an affirmation list in a visible place at home/work that you can look at so when times get tough and you are feeling low, you have this list ready to go.
3. Keep a file or make a simple pinboard of positive things that come your way such as thank you notes and emails, congratulations, job promotions etc. We have to take the time to take stock of the small things
4. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and support you. A good question to ask yourself after you have spent time with someone, did they leave you feeling worn out and exhausted? Or did you leave them feeling fulfilled, uplifted, and energized? If this strikes a chord in some of you, may need to revisit some of those relationships that may not be serving you in this way!
Do you have something that has helped you keep your brain in check? Leave me a comment below!